So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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