if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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