i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
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Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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