My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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