Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
