I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
