all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
