Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
