You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
