Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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