FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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