For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
