Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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