im about as happy as oj after his trial
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
