you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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