its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
