Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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