I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
