Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
