I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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