It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
