he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
