There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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