I want to walk on stilts...naked
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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