Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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