I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
