I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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