Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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