I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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