can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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