I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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