2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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