Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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