i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
