omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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