So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
