just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize