SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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