She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
