And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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