Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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