how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
