I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
