I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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