her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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