She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
