Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
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We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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