And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize