wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
