You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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