You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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