I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
