grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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