Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
