I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
