he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What a dumb baby whore.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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