That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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