For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it glows. i had to have it.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
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Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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