**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
